The building sup

So they are back. those little flying bastards have returned for round two. although they "mean" no harm, they are annoying and out to get me, i just know it. heard the chirping this morning around 430am woke me up. I looked up and thankfully in my ambien intoxicated state i remembered to close and lock my bedroom door. not that birds have imposible thumbs, but they do crawl into venting ducts, so who really knows what they're capable of.
i quietly chuckled to myself...those little shits will never get through that running exhaust fan. they just dont have the balls for that. do birds even have balls...hmmm. nasty thought either way.
i got up and headed to the kitchen. as i rounded the corner what did i see but one of the little shitting machines on my counter; taunting me as if i wasnt the higher species. i walked in big and tall ready for battle with my can of raid. i dont know what these creatures have been through, but the raid doesnt even slow them down in the slightest. where is billy the exterminator when i need him.
so i shooed him out and thought that was the last i would see of him and headed to the couch with my cup of coffee. Fired up the magic jack and placed a call. as i was talking i hear a grinding noise like a fan with something stuck in it. low and behold they crawled right through that running fan. resilent retards arent they.
called the building sup. showed up about 10 min later still half asleep. in his broken english he assured me that he would fix the problem and proceded to grab a chair and hop up on it. he removed the cover for the vent and stuck his arm up it. bbbbrrrrrrrr. once i turned the fan off he decided he would try the ol' hand up the exhaust port again. apparently Kuwait public school isnt that great.
as he was digging around elbow deep in the mess, I drinking my cup of coffee from a safe distance couldnt help but think "I hope one doesnt peck his hand and scare him into falling off that chair."
AHHHHHHH. he shrieked as he was grabbing the air for something to grab onto. WHAM. right on the floor. as i walked in to help him up and grab some papertowels to clean the mess of coffee i just spit all over the wall, one of the flying fuckheads was circling my ceiling.
he jumped up swung at it with the broom. after taking down the smoke alarm, mounting points for the vent cover, and kitchen light in the ceiling, i opened the door and it flew out.
so......to make a long story short. i am getting all new ceiling mounted apparatus and he will be returning at noon to rid me of these flying pests.
to be honest im going to die of starvation if he doesnt come back, i refuse to go back into the kitchen due to my painful run-in with them. i guess i will start liking indian food pretty damn quick.