So just returned home from the first shift working in Kuwait. I am working at the Kuwait Naval Base where there is a presence of less than 1000 military permanently working there. A large amount of transient come and go through there heading home or into the shit. Many different attitudes depending on where they are headed.
My first partner here was an older Hopi indian EMT who has lovenly been named Chief Wrongway. didnt really understand the name until he provided me with the base tour. I never thought it to be possible to get lost on a base the size of two Walmarts but now i know. I would drive but one i dont know where the hell im going, and two i dont know where the hell im going. Apparently neither does he but nonetheless i met a lot of people.
First day there i was going through the truck getting a good feel where everything is and realized that there isnt a drug box or a cardiac monitor on the rig. hmmmm i thought to myself, that pretty much takes out all the stuff i needed to be a medic. so we run BLS calls with an ambulance, paramedic, and a 40 min minimum transport time. shit, i hope everything goes ok. and hell if they want to pay me as a medic and work me as an EMT i'm cool with that. Cash has no real value on our base except for the PX so i headed with Chief WW over to the big base to get an Eagle cash card.
$150 on the card which allows me to purchase meals and the ever so important Green Bean coffee stand so its a need to have. Dinner and lunch run about $4.25 and breakfast $2.25. So its reasonable as far as im concerned. others here dont feel the same way and want everything for free. still im trying to figure that out.
the living conditions for the station are pretty nice a room with 4 bunks and two individual rooms with two bunks along with a day room take up the whole trailer. porta-johns are a short 50 yard walk away with the shower trailers being about 500 yards. really makes me take a second thought to showering at night before bed.
most people on base are happy to have us. very friendly and not too judgemental on us driving around or staying in quarters watching TV. so all in all its a pretty nice place to work. the word on the gravel, remember no real pavement there, is about a call a week is our norm but nah nah nah nah nah i already got one.
1830 after a less than satisfying meal of ham, scalloped potatos, and mixed veggies i retured with Cheif WW to the station to finish Clash of the Titans that we started watching before dinner. the radio went off for a call for uncontrolled bleeding at one of the personnel buildings just on the other side of the stage/movie theater compound. the base being so small i grabbed the jump bag and jogged my way over as CWW fired up the rig and followed.
i rounded the corner to see a Army guy kneeling on the gravel with a decent pool of blood on the ground. his back was to me so as i walked up putting my gloves on i am trying to figure out where it was coming from. i heard hit spitting and didnt take me long after that to figure it out. this outstanding member of our armed forces got the bright idea to smoke right after getting his wisdom teeth yanked out.WTF i thought to myself i would hit him in the mouth, but i dont want to get blood all over me.
"So whats going on today buddy" i asked as i set my bag down and started my paperwork. through his garbled gauze in mouth talk i found out that he got them yanked two days ago and didnt take the dentists word on not smoking for a couple of days and got an infection. saw the dentist today and had the infection removed and new sutures put in place to keep the open wound closed. he had some pain and took two of the painkillers that he was precribed and felt a little better.
I went to the gym today and was lifting after i ate and felt a pop in my mouth. "WAIT!" i stopped him. didnt the professional i went to school for 8 years to do this for a living fancy officer tell you no heavy lifting for a while until that heals? "Uh, yeah but it didnt hurt so I didnt I had to wait anymore." he says. "So, let me get this straight." you took it upon yourself to continue smoking, get and infection, get it fucking worked on today, and then went to the gym? "Yeah" holy fucking Christ all mighty. you have got to be fucking kidding me. This is the person I rely on to keep me safe at night while i sleep? So 24 year old high as a kite on Vicodin and doesnt listen when people, who know what the hell they are talking about, stand guard in one of the most angry areas of the world. "Get on the strecher" i barked as i helped him up.
The 40 min ride to the ER was unevenful. I called ahead and let the Doc know I was headed his way and what I had. Ran through the vitals and asked if there was anything he wanted me to do for this Gem of a person. "If you have time, throw a line in him." It was like a sign from above to teach this little bastard a lesson. 18 guage in the hand. Started my fluids and turned over care.
As CWW and myslef were headed out, i heard the dentist EXPLODE on this kid screaming about what a dumbass he was and he.....door closed. Back home we go.....man im tired
If your still reading this, I cant believe it. That was a complete waste of time for you, but thanks for readin. im going to take a nap.....
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The building sup
So they are back. those little flying bastards have returned for round two. although they "mean" no harm, they are annoying and out to get me, i just know it. heard the chirping this morning around 430am woke me up. I looked up and thankfully in my ambien intoxicated state i remembered to close and lock my bedroom door. not that birds have imposible thumbs, but they do crawl into venting ducts, so who really knows what they're capable of.
i quietly chuckled to myself...those little shits will never get through that running exhaust fan. they just dont have the balls for that. do birds even have balls...hmmm. nasty thought either way.
i got up and headed to the kitchen. as i rounded the corner what did i see but one of the little shitting machines on my counter; taunting me as if i wasnt the higher species. i walked in big and tall ready for battle with my can of raid. i dont know what these creatures have been through, but the raid doesnt even slow them down in the slightest. where is billy the exterminator when i need him.
so i shooed him out and thought that was the last i would see of him and headed to the couch with my cup of coffee. Fired up the magic jack and placed a call. as i was talking i hear a grinding noise like a fan with something stuck in it. low and behold they crawled right through that running fan. resilent retards arent they.
called the building sup. showed up about 10 min later still half asleep. in his broken english he assured me that he would fix the problem and proceded to grab a chair and hop up on it. he removed the cover for the vent and stuck his arm up it. bbbbrrrrrrrr. once i turned the fan off he decided he would try the ol' hand up the exhaust port again. apparently Kuwait public school isnt that great.
as he was digging around elbow deep in the mess, I drinking my cup of coffee from a safe distance couldnt help but think "I hope one doesnt peck his hand and scare him into falling off that chair."
AHHHHHHH. he shrieked as he was grabbing the air for something to grab onto. WHAM. right on the floor. as i walked in to help him up and grab some papertowels to clean the mess of coffee i just spit all over the wall, one of the flying fuckheads was circling my ceiling.
he jumped up swung at it with the broom. after taking down the smoke alarm, mounting points for the vent cover, and kitchen light in the ceiling, i opened the door and it flew out.
so......to make a long story short. i am getting all new ceiling mounted apparatus and he will be returning at noon to rid me of these flying pests.
to be honest im going to die of starvation if he doesnt come back, i refuse to go back into the kitchen due to my painful run-in with them. i guess i will start liking indian food pretty damn quick.
i quietly chuckled to myself...those little shits will never get through that running exhaust fan. they just dont have the balls for that. do birds even have balls...hmmm. nasty thought either way.
i got up and headed to the kitchen. as i rounded the corner what did i see but one of the little shitting machines on my counter; taunting me as if i wasnt the higher species. i walked in big and tall ready for battle with my can of raid. i dont know what these creatures have been through, but the raid doesnt even slow them down in the slightest. where is billy the exterminator when i need him.
so i shooed him out and thought that was the last i would see of him and headed to the couch with my cup of coffee. Fired up the magic jack and placed a call. as i was talking i hear a grinding noise like a fan with something stuck in it. low and behold they crawled right through that running fan. resilent retards arent they.
called the building sup. showed up about 10 min later still half asleep. in his broken english he assured me that he would fix the problem and proceded to grab a chair and hop up on it. he removed the cover for the vent and stuck his arm up it. bbbbrrrrrrrr. once i turned the fan off he decided he would try the ol' hand up the exhaust port again. apparently Kuwait public school isnt that great.
as he was digging around elbow deep in the mess, I drinking my cup of coffee from a safe distance couldnt help but think "I hope one doesnt peck his hand and scare him into falling off that chair."
AHHHHHHH. he shrieked as he was grabbing the air for something to grab onto. WHAM. right on the floor. as i walked in to help him up and grab some papertowels to clean the mess of coffee i just spit all over the wall, one of the flying fuckheads was circling my ceiling.
he jumped up swung at it with the broom. after taking down the smoke alarm, mounting points for the vent cover, and kitchen light in the ceiling, i opened the door and it flew out.
so......to make a long story short. i am getting all new ceiling mounted apparatus and he will be returning at noon to rid me of these flying pests.
to be honest im going to die of starvation if he doesnt come back, i refuse to go back into the kitchen due to my painful run-in with them. i guess i will start liking indian food pretty damn quick.
Day 2 - run in with the death fliers
this is an email i sent to some people at work. i dont think its that funny but after thinking about it for a while i find some humor in it. hope you feel the same.
last night i crawled into bed about 1130 pm here. thought i would sleep in as long as i could to combat the jet lag i still have left over. i awoke this morning just like the last one to the sound of birds chirping. something i was suprised to hear in this area of the world but none the less i had to pee so i got up.
now i dont know if you've been to an apartment here in kuwait, most sane people havent, but there is literally a 3" raised threshold on each door. something that i have lovenly named the toe-breaker 5000's. i have learned while fully awake to remain aware of their exsistence, and avoid kicking another one. btw still cant feel or extend 4 of my toes fully. evil little fuckers aren't they.
so back to this am. i woke up managed not to kick the one on the way out of my room or into the bathroom. (i hung up signs) finished up the morning void and headed to the kitchen to start the coffee. still with sleep in my eyes and no coffee i wasnt really paying attention. stepped over the threshold and opened the freezer where the coffee is kept. grabbed it and closed the freezer door. then turned around and was dived bombed by two little birds in my fucking kitchen. dropped the coffee to protect my face and....
when i woke up i realized what had happened. in the flying bitch slaps of fury that i was warding the birds off with, i stepped back and my heel hit the kitchen toe-breaker 5000. as i fell backwards still swinging like a 5 yr old in a battle with her brother my head cracked the threshold for the bathroom directly across from the kitchen.
"Fuck" i said to myself as i awoke and sat up rubbing the back of my head. damn winged spawns of satan were trying to kill me. and all i wanted to do is get a delicious cup of Hadji coffee. i stood back up and catiously entered the kitchen in the best karate stance i know. (btw i know nothing about karate so basically looked like a down-syndrome kid in some kind of extremity only seziure. )
no bird in sight i grabbed the broom and started to sweep up the coffee and mess of paper-towels the little bastards ripped apart to make a nest. finished cleaning up the mess and started my pot of coffee. on top of the fridge are my coco puffs so i reached for them and was about to make a bowl when i was attacked again.
i fell backwards (this time stepping over the toe-breaker to keep from falling, now i am in full backwards run escaping my demise. this time the bathtub took my legs out from under me. i fell into the bathtub shrieking in what most people would attribute to a squirrel in a blender type scream. dont worry though i took the shower curtain rod and curtain with me. we all are still feeling the pain of the bathtub fancy stone they use to make the shower walls. that shit is real they spare no expense here.
so all in all i have had two concussions and 4 damaged toes. but i finally figured out where the airborne attempted murders were coming from. there is a vent in the kitchen with a built in fan much like the bathroom one i am used to at home. since the incidents today i have decided that perticular fan will stay on to ward off the attackers and help me to sleep at night
last night i crawled into bed about 1130 pm here. thought i would sleep in as long as i could to combat the jet lag i still have left over. i awoke this morning just like the last one to the sound of birds chirping. something i was suprised to hear in this area of the world but none the less i had to pee so i got up.
now i dont know if you've been to an apartment here in kuwait, most sane people havent, but there is literally a 3" raised threshold on each door. something that i have lovenly named the toe-breaker 5000's. i have learned while fully awake to remain aware of their exsistence, and avoid kicking another one. btw still cant feel or extend 4 of my toes fully. evil little fuckers aren't they.
so back to this am. i woke up managed not to kick the one on the way out of my room or into the bathroom. (i hung up signs) finished up the morning void and headed to the kitchen to start the coffee. still with sleep in my eyes and no coffee i wasnt really paying attention. stepped over the threshold and opened the freezer where the coffee is kept. grabbed it and closed the freezer door. then turned around and was dived bombed by two little birds in my fucking kitchen. dropped the coffee to protect my face and....
when i woke up i realized what had happened. in the flying bitch slaps of fury that i was warding the birds off with, i stepped back and my heel hit the kitchen toe-breaker 5000. as i fell backwards still swinging like a 5 yr old in a battle with her brother my head cracked the threshold for the bathroom directly across from the kitchen.
"Fuck" i said to myself as i awoke and sat up rubbing the back of my head. damn winged spawns of satan were trying to kill me. and all i wanted to do is get a delicious cup of Hadji coffee. i stood back up and catiously entered the kitchen in the best karate stance i know. (btw i know nothing about karate so basically looked like a down-syndrome kid in some kind of extremity only seziure. )
no bird in sight i grabbed the broom and started to sweep up the coffee and mess of paper-towels the little bastards ripped apart to make a nest. finished cleaning up the mess and started my pot of coffee. on top of the fridge are my coco puffs so i reached for them and was about to make a bowl when i was attacked again.
i fell backwards (this time stepping over the toe-breaker to keep from falling, now i am in full backwards run escaping my demise. this time the bathtub took my legs out from under me. i fell into the bathtub shrieking in what most people would attribute to a squirrel in a blender type scream. dont worry though i took the shower curtain rod and curtain with me. we all are still feeling the pain of the bathtub fancy stone they use to make the shower walls. that shit is real they spare no expense here.
so all in all i have had two concussions and 4 damaged toes. but i finally figured out where the airborne attempted murders were coming from. there is a vent in the kitchen with a built in fan much like the bathroom one i am used to at home. since the incidents today i have decided that perticular fan will stay on to ward off the attackers and help me to sleep at night
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