Ramadan...and all its restrictions.

Aug 10th came and went like any other day. It was ridiculosly hot and humid, dusty, and the faint sound of Arabic prayers rang through the desert. Like a horrible soundtrack to a worse music video. We all knew what the next day had in store for us....The begining of RAMADAN!!!! (cue screaming girl)

The weeks prior to the begining to the holy month of fasting were filled with emails, training sessions, and boring powerpoints explaining the rules and regulations for this; the holy month of Ramadan. I, like most of my colleages, paid little to no attention to the awareness that was force fed to us. I'm not a tasty chicken on a farm, so I should not be treated as such.

Rule 1: No tobacco use (smoking, dipping, or chewing) or chewing gun outside or while driving.
My response to Rule 1: Fuck you. Do you Muslims realize the pain and suffering that will ensue following restriction of tobacco for me. If I dont have a dip by 9 am stand by. Its gonna get bloody. I dont smoke anymore, so thats not the issue. I dont "chew" tobacco, I stick it between my cheek and gum. Whats the harm in that. I am pretty sure the Prophet Muhammed isnt going to care if I sneak a little Cope on the way to work. So eat me little brown smelly dudes. I am not going to follow this rule. Even if I wanted to follow this rule and avoid a massacre from nicotine withdrawl but chewing nicotine gum, I CANT. Another stupid rule. Is gum anti-Muslim? I have read the Wrigley's pack a time or two waiting for the light rail, never did I read "Muslims suck, chew our gum during Ramadan."

Rule 2: No eating or drinking this includes bottled water in any public area.
My response to Rule 2: Fuck you. So you expect me to become dehydrated, pass out, then rely on the Kuwaiti EMS to take care of me because of a Holy month that I dont believe in. Those assholes dont even know how to start an IV. Seriously, you dont shower or shave and I should trust that your medical supplies are clean. Noooo wayyyy you crazy fuck. No eating?!?! How can I eat. ALL THE RESTAURANTS ARE CLOSED UNTIL 1830. Do you understand the amount of hate consumed me following the mile walk to the local Chinese place in 130 heat just to find out its closed. I dont think I've sworn like that in a while. Also, whats the deal with restricting my caffiene intake? Coffee on the drive to work is a staple in my life. Now I'm tired, having a nicotine fit and a little light headed from dehrdration and hypoglycemia. I hate Ramadan.

Rule 3: Females must be covered at all times in public.
My response to Rule 3: Fuck you. Seeing a trend here? Now I have a caffiene headache, hypoglycemic, dehydrated, experiencing nicotine withdrawl, and sexually repressed. No wonder you asshole have been at war since the dawn of time. What about I suggest a small change to the month of August. BBQ, get your chicks in some bikinis, some cold beers and hang out by the pool. Its fuckin hot. Live it up fuckers lifes short! Glad im not a chick, I'm not wearing pants in this heat! Or long sleeves. Screw that.

So to sum up the last couple of paragraphs. Fuck you, not you you, but Ramadan. Do your eyes hurt yet? This black screen with the little white letters messes with my vision a little. Quit rubbing them! It only makes it worse. Anyway, thats all I have about Ramadan. It is kinda cool to experience another culture and live abroad...next time I am going to choose a more laid back place...maybe Fiji!